What to look for in your ideal therapist

Finding the right therapist for you is an important decision: research repeatedly shows that the client-therapist relationship is one of the most important factors to achieving progress. After all, finding a therapist means choosing someone who’ll hold space for you, help you to feel safe, comfortable, and understood, support you through your distress, and bear witness to your progress. The therapist who might be perfect for your friend or loved one may not be the right fit for you, and there’s nothing wrong with that- it just means that you and your friend look for different qualities in your therapists.

This being said, it can be difficult to know where to begin or to articulate what you’re looking for in an ideal therapist. Here are some things that may be helpful for you to consider as you begin or continue your search.

Therapist Demographics

Based on your cultural identity (I’m including gender identity and sexual orientation when I say cultural identity) and lived experience, as well as the topics that you’re looking to discuss in therapy, you might feel more comfortable in sharing your story with a therapist who holds certain traits. Or it might be the opposite: perhaps you’ve experienced negativity and judgement from certain people or communities and working with a therapist who shares those traits would be triggering or deeply uncomfortable for you.

Potential demographics information that may be helpful for you to consider looking for (or avoiding) in your ideal therapist include:

• Gender identity

• Sexual orientation

• Ethnicity

• Religious/spiritual beliefs

• Life stage

• Language(s) spoken

Some of this information isn’t always readily available on a therapist’s profile or website. However, if you’re able to get a sense of a certain characteristic being important to you, then you can always reach out to a therapist whom you’re considering working with and ask if they’re comfortable with disclosing that information.

Therapist Experience

Depending on what you’re looking to work through in therapy, you may feel comfortable working with therapists who provide support for general mental health concerns or you may need more specialized experience. Concerns like anxiety, depression, and emotion regulation are considered general mental health concerns that most therapists have experience with. If you’re looking to work through topics like self-harm, suicide, addictions, trauma, eating disorders, personality disorders, or if you have a specific diagnosis outside of mood disorders, you’ll likely benefit from working with therapists who are experienced with working with these specific concerns. This information is usually shared on therapist profiles and websites, and it doesn’t hurt to ask the therapist for more information on their experience in your area of concern and how they approach working with that concern.

Practical Details

I’m not going to lie to you- therapy is hard work. It doesn’t mean every session will be heavy and it certainly doesn’t mean that there aren’t moments of joy and lightheartedness as well, but most people who seek therapy are getting ready to work through their concerns and it’s not always a walk in the park. It’s important to consider what your lifestyle and schedule are, and what that means for your sessions. Do you have more energy or are able to concentrate better at certain times of the day and week, would you happen to be free during those times, and do you want to dedicate a part of that time to therapy? Are you able to travel to and from the therapist’s office and prefer to meet in person, or do you prefer online/digital therapy and have the private space and internet/phone connection needed for online therapy? Do you have insurance that covers mental health care, and if so, does it include the regulation college that your ideal therapist is certified through and what amount is included in that coverage? If you’re paying out of pocket, what’s your budget?

These questions might feel overwhelming and you might not know the answer to all of them right away, and that’s ok. You can always start with one or two sessions and make changes as you go, once you begin to get better sense of what works for you.

Therapist Style/Vibe

As you read through therapist profiles and websites and start doing consultations, you may find that you gravitate more toward certain personality and communication styles/vibes than others. It may be that you’re feeling nervous and therapists with calm and casual vibes makes you feel at ease. Or you could be not ready to open up yet, and certain communication styles makes you feel like your boundaries are being respected. You may want to feel more nurtured and take things slowly or you may just want to get down to business and appreciate a more businesslike and direct conversation. In any case, there are probably certain styles that make you feel more at ease.

It’s helpful to try to get a sense of the following:

• Does this person make you feel like they’ll hear, respect, and understand you?

• Is this person someone whom you’ll want to talk to?

If you’re looking for a warm and empathetic therapist of colour who practices from a culturally-responsive, LGBTQ-affirming, and trauma-informed lens, the good news is that this describes all the therapists on the A Journey Inward Therapy team. Feel free to schedule a free 15-minute consultation with an available therapist on our team to get started on your healing journey.

Wherever you are on your search and in your personal journey, We wish you all the best.

Warmly,

Ting Ting and the A Journey Inward Therapy team

Photography credit: thumbnail photo by Eilis Garvey on Unsplash